Ephesians 6:4 Parents, Do Not Provoke Your Children to Anger

The L-rd pressed an issue on my heart today; parent and children relationships. Please see the following article on how we can provoke our children to anger. This can instill disobedience in them, which does not please the L-rd. Ephesians 6:1 says, Children, obey your parents, for this is right in the L-rd.

Disclaimer: The following article is written by and is the property of Steve Shank. I make no claims to this article. Please read and take what the L-rd convicts and places upon your heart to apply to your lives. May YHVH richly bless you as He turns the hearts of the children back to the parents and the hearts of the parents back to the children.

WAYS THAT PARENTS PROVOKE THEIR CHILDREN TO ANGER

By Steve Shank
http://www.lhc-pa.org/_files/Provoke.pdf

I. You can provoke your child to anger when you fail to demonstrate

biblical love (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a) to your child through:

A. Impatience (not waiting for your child to finish a task or hurrying your

child to do something that is beyond his capabilities) (violating 1 Cor

13:4; Gal 5:22; Ephes 4:1-2; Col 1:9-12, 3:12)

B. Unkindness (not providing for your child’s physical needs because you are

too busy with your own interests) (violating 1 Cor 13:4; Gal 5:22, Ephes

4:32; Phil 2:3-4; 2 Tim 2:24; Titus 2:4-5)

C. Jealousy (trying to prove to your child that you can do something better

than he can) (violating 1 Cor 13:4; Gal 5:19-20; James 3:13-18)

D. Bragging saying things such as “I had it a lot harder when I was your

age”) (violating Prov 27:2; Rom 1:30; 1 Cor 13:4; 2 Cor 10:18)

E. Arrogance (saying such things as “We’ll do it my way because I’m a lot

smarter and a lot bigger than you”) (violating Rom 1:3-; 1 Cor 13:4)

F. Unbecoming actions (purposefully embarrassing and demeaning your

child by discussing his failures and shortcomings in front of others)

(violating 1 Cor 13:5; Ephes 4:29)

G. Seeking to have it your own way (insisting that your child or family do

only what you want to do) (violating 1 Cor 13:5; Phil 2:3-4)

H. Taking into account wrongs suffered (reminding your child in an accusing

manner of his past failures by saying things such as “I’ve told you this a

thousand times…”) (violating 1 Cor 13:5; Ephes 4:32; Col 3:12-13)

I. Rejoicing in unrighteousness (encouraging your child to retaliate for

wrongs he has suffered from others) (violating 1 Cor 13:6; 2 Thess 2:12)

J. Not rejoicing in truth (failing to commend your child for being truthful in

a difficult situation) (violating 1 Cor 13:6; 1 Thess 5:16; 1 Peter 4:13; 2

John 1:4; 3 John 1:3)

K. Not bearing all things (avoiding, criticizing, or neglecting your child

because he wasn’t perfect in meeting your expectations) (violating 1 Cor

13:7; Gal 6:2)

L. Not believing or hoping all things (consistently doubting what your child

says before you know all the facts) (violating 1 Cor 13:7)

M. Not enduring all things (responding in anger to your child because you are

focused on your own difficulties) (violating 1 Cor 13:7; James 1:2-4)

II. You can provoke your child to anger when you fail to live as an example

of the believer (1 Tim 4:12) by:

A. Acting hypocritically (judging your child’s behavior when you do not

continually examine your own life by God’s Word) (violating Matt 7:1-5)

B. Lying to your child or requesting your child to lie for you (violating Rom

14:13; Ephes 4:15, 25)

C. Arguing with your child or arguing with your spouse in the presence of

your child (violating Prov 20:3; Phil 2:14-16; Col 4:6; 2 Tim 2:24-25)

D. Teasing your child (tickling him to the point of tears or making fun of him

when he has been embarrassed or has failed in an endeavor) (violating

Ephes 6:4; Col 3:12)

E. Speaking to your child in a unwholesome manner (calling him names or

yelling at him in anger) (violating Ephes 4:29; Col 4:6)

F. Showing partiality to one child over another (violating Prov 24:23; also

see Gen 25:24-34, esp verse 28, and Gen 27:1-28:9 for illustrations of the

evils precipitated by parents favoring one child over another)

III. You can provoke your child to anger when you seek to become the

ultimate authority in the life of your child instead of showing him the

importance of following the Lord (based on Ezekiel 18:4-20, esp verse 4

and 20; 2 Cor 3:5-6; 2 Tim 3:16-17; James 1:22-25)

A. Practicing a double standard and demanding that your child serve you

continually, while you fail to serve your child and others (violating Matt

20:25-28; Mark 9:35; 20:42-45)

B. Treating your child as a possession or imposing your own aspirations on

him (insisting that he meet the goals that you have arbitrarily set for his

life) (violating Deut 6:6-7; Psalm 24:1, 127:3; Ephes 6:4)

C. Swearing at your child or using harsh, contentious language when he does

not meet certain standards (violating Prov 12:18, 20:3; Ephes 4:15, 29,

31; Col 4:6; James 3:2-12)

D. Comparing your child to yourself or others to show him the ways in which

he does not measure up to your standards (violating 2 Cor 10:12, 17-18)

IV. You can provoke your child to anger when you act in an inconsistent

manner in front of, or toward your child by:

A. Failing to keep your word and becoming untrustworthy (promising to take

him someplace and then arbitrarily changing your plans in order to please

yourself) (violating Matt 5:37; Ephes 4:15, 25; Col 3:9)

B. Failing to discipline biblically when necessary (violating Prov 13:24,

23:13; Heb 12:7-8) or disciplining when provoked and angry (violating 1

Cor 13:5; Ephes 4:31)

C. Being erratic and inconsistent in your speech or actions (showing little or

no response to your child’s disobedience on one day but at another time

becoming visibly upset, using unkind words, and punishing rather than

restoring) (violating Prov 15:1; Gal 6:1; Ephes 4:15, 29; Col 4:6)

D. Failing to confess sins that you have committed against your child or

seeking to give excuse for your sinful behavior in an effort to justify

yourself (violating Mat 5:23-24; Rom 12:18; James 5:16)

E. Refusing to forgive your child (making statements such as “I’ll never be

able to forgive you for what you’ve done to me”) while demanding that

your child forgive others for wrongs done against him (violating Mat

5:23-24; 18:21-22; Mark 11:25-26; Ephes 4:32; Col 3:12-13)

V. You can provoke your child to anger when you neglect your child by

A. Failing to spend time with your child in order to show the application of

God’s word to everyday life (violating Duet 6:6-7)

B. Failing to listen patiently when your child speaks to you because you are

“too busy” with your own interests (violating 1 Cor 13:4-5; Phil 2:3-4;

James 1:19)

C. Failing to discipline your child biblically or in a timely manner by

delaying discipline because “you don’t feel like it” or waiting to discipline

your child until a number of wrongs have accumulated (violating Prov

13:24, 19:18; Ecc 8:11)

Next is a video that I made on the same topic. Please view and feel free to leave your comments and/or questions. Thanks for visiting and viewing. To YHVH be all glory and may you be blessed through Messiah Y'shua as you seek His will and purpose for your life and those of your children.